Bones' Diamond in the Rough
by Andalusia25
Summary: Bones has a crush on the Diamond of Star Fleet and the poor doctor is miserable. Rated M b/c I'm paranoid. Might be a one-shot
1. Chapter 1

**Dislcaimer: I don't own Star Trek and this is for pure entertainment of McKirk fangirls. No copy-write intended.**

**Summary: Bones has a crush on the Diamond of Star Fleet and the poor doctor is miserable. **

**I am now really convinced that my muse is on speed lol**

Bones' Diamond in the Rough

Bones collapsed onto the couch in his office, sprawling his lean frame across the entire length. He hadn't bothered to turn on the lights, he didn't want the luminous rays to be witness to his turmoil, but he had locked the door. The only person who could over-ride his lock was the very person he was trying to escape. He moaned aloud at that thought rubbed both his eyes, before tracing his fingers through his brown tresses. It was really unfair that of all the people his damn heart could have learned to love it was one of the few people that was so off-limits to him it was like he was Andorian Shingles mixed with Orion Herpes or something much more worse that his brain couldn't think of right now because blue eyes and miles of sun-kissed skin were still haunting him. For all the peaches in Georgia, why in the hell had Leonard "Bones" McCoy fell in love with James T. 'Hotter-Than-Hell' Kirk?!

He was a doctor damnit, not some love-sick teenaged girl! So why did he fall asleep every night thinking of those perfectly kissable lips, dream about things no man should about their best friend and wake up with proof that the love he had for Jim was no longer platonic? Oh, he really hated this. He was more cranky than he had ever been in his whole damn life and even Chappell was starting to avoid him unless abso-freaking-lutely necessary. The only thing this torture was not affecting was his patient care. He was still the best damn ship physician this side of the unknown. Bones would never, ever let something in his personal life affect the care he gave those in need of his service. However, that was the only given in this whole stinking situation. He slammed his hands down into the couch cushions, wishing it was a surface that would not have gave way to his angst so quickly. This was beyond unfair, this was like some crazy-ass Greek god had decided to piss all up in his life and stir it around for good measure. Men were not supposed to love their best friends. They were not supposed to notice how fine their commanding officer looked in his uniform. They were not supposed to be able to notice how their roommate walked when he was hurt, nervous, angry or horny, or how hot it was with any but the first. Nope, no where in the guide of being a man had any of that been listed, Bones was sure of it.

Bones didn't know how to stop it, but he sure as hell knew when it began. It began when that little shit-eating-smug-bastard started talking to him in the shuttle. Anyone else would have looked at him like he was crazy and made damn sure their paths never crossed again after his little rant with the shuttle officer. But what did the hottest man on the planet do instead? He made damn sure that he and newly-named Bones were freaking roommates! Talk about torture, living with Klingons would have been easier for Bones. Jim liked to walk around in his underwear – his whitey-thighty underwear! Bones cursed that thought thru his clenched teeth. If Bones ever found out that Jim knew he had the hots for him and was doing that shit on purpose Bones would do several things to him that even Jim Kirk would be too ashamed to admit in public (and that was saying something).

It actually hurt Bones to see Jim with a different girl every week (or night depending on Jim's mood) at the academy. Now at least Jim kept his 'personal activities' limited to shore leave, but it still stabbed Bones straight thru the heart. He knew he didn't have a snowball's chance in hell with Jim, but it was much too easy for all the other things (he did not think of them as people) to have a night with him. But Bones was the one that Jim came to for chats, discussions, meals and everything else but sex. Bones was the support system and family of James T. Sex-God Kirk. The life of a sex machine captain was lonely without a constant flow of women, so Bones helped fill in the quiet times. Because if Jim were his, he wouldn't just be a one-nighter, he would be the happily-ever after.

Not to say that Jim didn't love Bones. Bones knew that Jim did love him, it was just totally platonic. However, Bones would take what ever scrap Jim threw him. Jim had told Bones time and again that he was so thankful to have finally found someone who could put up with his shit and stick around, his own mother and brother hadn't done that. Not that from the looks of James T. Melt-In-Your-Mouth Kirk one could tell that he had the self-worth of an ant, but Bones knew it. So, he made sure to comfort Jim every chance he got. But of course, he had to do it in a manly way. It did help that Jim was a touchy-feely kinda of guy - that helped Bones comfort him with a hug or a pat on the shoulder or some times just holding Jim close letting him have human contact when he needed it the most. Hell, there were nights at the academy when Jim was so upset about something that he had crawled in the bed with Bones and let Bones hold him the whole night thru. That was one of the most peaceful sleeps that Bones had ever had.

Bones would do anything for James T. Youngest-Captain-In-Star-Fleet-History Kirk. Damnit to hell, he had followed that man into space! He was still upset about that. However, now as CMO he had duties to attend to, which right now involved a half-naked Kirk being bandaged from the last away mission. Seeing Jim laying there looking good enough to eat is why Bones had decided a five minute break was the best thing the doctor had ordered during the whole damn medical emergency otherwise known as "Kirk Diplomacy". Sighing, he heaved himself up as he mental prepared himself to come face to face with that gorgeous man once again. Ignoring any more erroneous thoughts, he was sure he all his shit straight again. Bones unlocked the door and strode back into the Med Bay, scowl appropriately placed.

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**

**Ok, I had to do it! I feel much better that it is out of my system lol. I'm not usually a fan of McKirk but one too many vids on YouTube will change your mind.**

**I was thinking of doing another chapter from Kirk's view, whatcha think? Hit the review and let me know! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**Thank you Demon and Passion for your reviews and your ideas! This chapter will be Bones POV. I hope you like it! The next might be in Kirk's view.**

**And to Peachly – I didn't remember you had a 'Diamond in the Rough', I didn't mean to steal your title, sorry. I really am not good at naming my stories. **

**Bones' Diamond in the Rough**

Bones strode back into the main area of Med Bay surveying all the patients with nurses hovering over them. Every thing seemed to be in perfect order. There had been only minor cut and scraps, a few burns, but nothing major. The in habitants of the planet had not been as advanced as the Federation had hopped. However, those injuries made with stones, sticks and bare handed natives had to be cleaned and healed as soon as possible because risk of infection tripled when the said injury occurred on planet that was not the patient's own. It was a rule of thumb in Xeno-Medical 101 – the body can not defend itself against something it has never before encountered. It probably didn't hurt that the current CMO was a germ-a-phob either. But Bones was proud to be the title holder of the lowest xeno-infection rate in the Fleet.

Then Bones' eyes fell on the golden boy himself. Head Nurse Christine Chappell was seeing to his wounds herself. There were two reasons for that: one – Chappell knew a lot more about his history than all the other nurses and two – Chappell could keep Jim in line and make him behave while she repaired his wounds. Jim knew that if he gave Chappell any problems the end result would be Rand giving him hell for the rest of the week. It was not something Captain Wonderful wanted to deal with. He was lying still and accepting treatment without compliant, and he still had that damn shirt off. So, those toned abs, perfectly chiseled chest and rock-hard pecs were on full display for Bones' greedy eyes. Yeah, Bones just thought he had his shit straight. He took a deep breath and made his way over to the Bay, Chappell surely needed a break by now.

"Chappell, I will be glad to finish the dermal regenerating, if you would like a break. The rest of your shift signed off thirty minutes ago." Bones kept his eyes on Chappell not daring to look down at the super-fine example of male biology yet. Chappell nodded and handed over the medical equipment saying good bye to the captain. Bones took a seat and started knitting the broken skin on Jim's right knuckles, gingerly holding the younger man's hand as he worked. "You know, Jim, you're going to have to explain to me one day why the captain always comes back more broken than the rest of the away team. That doesn't sound like any of the training we got back in San Fran." Bones smiled up at Jim. This was the only way he verbally showed his love, by nagging at him like an old woman.

Jim scoffed and turned to face him. Bones could see the worry lines that had been developing since he stepped into the captain's role. This was really hard on Jim, having to be responsible for so many lives, not that he didn't love to be captain or do a damn fine job, but there were reasons captains were usually older. "Bones, you know me! I can't resist a good fight. This one really started out like those bar fights I so famous for." Jim let out a sigh and relaxed back onto the bed. Bones had noticed that as soon as he had taken over Jim's care from Chappell, Jim's body had become much more relaxed.

Bones translated that from Jim-standard to 'I couldn't just sit there and let my team get their asses kicked, I had to protect them.' So, to keep up with Jim's banter he tucked that away for ammunition to make Jim take a shore leave in a few months. "Oh, I remember them, dumbass. You remember that I was the one who drug you home and cleaned you up after, right?" Jim chuckled at the comment, which had been Bones' intention. "I kinda thought once we graduated it would be different, but I'm so glad to know that some things don't change. James T. Kirk didn't grow any common sense when I wasn't looking." Bones was steadily moving the regenerator over the last few cuts Jim had. If he were honest, he really did enjoy spending time with Jim while he was relaxed. And you couldn't find a more relaxed Jim than when they had just come back from an away mission with all the parties alive. Not even after sex was Jim this relaxed – ok, Bones stopped that thought while his hands were still on Jim's perfect body.

Jim sighed once more and brought his other arm up to cover his eyes. He had to be tired they had been down on the surface for over six hours – running, hiding and fighting. It broke Bones' heart. "I haven't grown anything that the good Dr. Bones McCoy wouldn't know about in a heartbeat. He keeps me in tip-top condition and knows everything about me, well almost everything." Jim's voice had gone from boastful to guarded with a breathy, false laugh at the end.

Ok, so it didn't take much to peek Bones' interest, and it was peeked. "What do you mean almost?" He leaned in close and growled. "I know that you have a birthmark on your ass that looks like a freaking heart!" Bones was just millimeters from Jim's perfectly shaped ear.

Jim let out a true laugh. "That is only because I fell in the shower when I was drunk and you had to help me! You so promised not to mention that ever again!" Jim was trying to divert the conversation away from what Bones didn't know but wanted to find out.

Fine, Bones would let it slide this one time, but next time he would nail his ass to the wall to get it out of him. "I have kept your lovely ass heart to myself for four years now, it was bubbling to the top. At least I told you and not your pointy-ear First Officer, hm?" Bones raised his eye brow still working the dermal regenerator, nearly finished with delicate job.

Jim had nearly stopped laughing, but with that comment it had started up again. "Bones!" That was the only word he could get out because he was laughing so hard.

Bones couldn't help but join in the laughter. They were both imagining what Spock would say if Bones had shared the birthmark. It would defiantly be a raised eyebrow with a 'fascinating'. But if Spock had requested to see it, Bones would beat the living shit out of him. Jim was his damnit, even if the little shit had no idea, he was still Bones'. Finally the regenerator signaled it was done and Jim was back once more to Adonis-like perfection. "You're all done, buddy boy." Bones slid the stool back away from the bed with the regenerator in both hands to keep them from reaching out and touching Jim.

"See, why do I have to be careful when I have the finest damn ship physician to put me back together again?" Jim smiled with blue eyes flashing. He chunked his gold tunic and black undershirt that had been torn beyond repair on the surface and pulled on the extra undershirt that Chappell had left him. Bones would have just let him walk around all day shirtless, but his nurses had better sense than that.

Bones sighed. "Because Jim there will be one day that I can't put you back together." That was be biggest worry Leonard McCoy had in the whole damn wide universe, the day his wonderful, beautiful Jim laid before him broken beyond repair. Emerald eyes met sapphire and there was a tender exchange. "And how would I explain it to all those damn women who have freaking posters of James T. Saver-Of-The-Known-Universe Kirk up on their walls?" What Bones had wanted to say was 'And that would send me over the edge with you.' But once again he refrained from such affection.

Jim's shoulders deflated just enough for Bones' to notice. "Yeah, those women after my body will be the only ones that miss me when I'm gone." Jim turned to leave, his voice laced with bitterness that could only come from years of knowing even your own mother didn't love you.

Bones could not let that statement go unchallenged so he jumped up and stopped Jim from leaving. He turned Jim around clutching his shoulder, hoping that his eyes were not filled with love like he knew they were. "Jim, there will be a lot more than just those damn women that will miss you. This ship will be covered in black in morning because they lost the best damn captain to walk thru the Academy doors. Spock, Uhura, Scotty, Sulu and Chekov would go to hell and back to try to stop it from happening." Bones pulled Jim into a hug, he couldn't help it and whispered gently into Jim's hair, "Jim, I would go down with you, there would be no life for me worth living if you weren't here with me." Bones cursed himself a blue streak, how the hell could he have just said that?!

Jim went stiff in his arms and Bones immediately let him go. Jim peered up at him with those blue eyes wide open. "Aw, Bones, I love you too." Jim hugged the stunned doctor once more quickly before heading towards the door, walking backwards so he could still see Bones. "I've got to go fill out those damn reports and get an update from Spock. How about we have dinner in my quarters around 1900?" Jim paused at the bay's door long enough to see Bones nod and turned to complete his duties.

Ok, Jim had told Bones he loved him a thousand times before, but he had always been drunk. This was the first time Jim had said those three little words while sober. A small flicker of hope burned deep in the older man's chest. But his rational side quickly stomped it out. Bones had been a freaking sap and Jim was just being sarcastic, duh. There was nothing more than platonic love between the two and Bones should just accept that. And he damn well better watch his mouth and not say such hormonal sappy crap again! Bones growled at himself and began his sweep of the Med Bay. He had an hour to kill before his dinner date. Bones rolled his eyes at that thought. He was getting soft in his old age. He really needed to get all his damn shit in a row because he couldn't afford to alienate Jim, it would kill him.

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**

**Please hit the review button and tell me how you liked it! Any ideas are greatly appreciated! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**All the reviews are like icing on the cake! Thanks Demon for your suggestions. I have corrected Nurse Chapel's name, forgive me.**

**Jim POV**

Jim rushed out of the Med Bay doors towards the nearest turbo lift to head towards the bridge. If Leonard 'Bones' McCoy didn't know how freaking hot he looked in that blue uniform that was so deliciously taunt thru his chest, them somebody should really tell him because it was killing Jim. Hell, Jim was beginning to think he got hurt on purpose to go see Dr. Fine-As-Hell, but that might be exaggerating just a little. Because one Jim had a knack for getting hurt any way so he didn't push his luck and two he could always go see Bones for another reason other than bleeding, limping, hurting or bruised, but they were such good conversation starters. Speaking of conversation, Bones had actually all but just said he loved him, that he cared for him. He had told him face-to-face totally sober that if Jim were to die, he would have no reason left to live. Jim's heart clinched. Did that man have any idea what that meant to Jim? Did he know that he made James T. Kick-Your-Ass Kirk's heart clinch with happiness? And what had the blonde shit done in return he had said 'I love you too' out loud and 100% sober! If he could kick his own ass right now he'd be back in Med Bay. Surely that was not what Bones had meant. He had meant it in an 'I'm your best friend' kinda way. Not the 'I want you so bad forever and always I can't see straight' kinda way that Jim wanted him to.

Jim physically shook his head trying to get Bones' words and his own emotions settled as the turbo door opened. Spock was waiting on the bridge with several reports needing Jim's attention, which he would do his damnest to give. "I am glad to see that you are once again in perfect health, Jim." Spock greeted him. At least Jim would always know where he stood with Spock, he was right above dog shit but below amoebae. "These reports are explanations to Star Fleet about what happened down on the surface of Nexus X. Feel free to add anything I may have missed." Spock was standing next to his command chair as Jim took his seat.

Jim smiled at him accepting the PADDs. "I am sure you have covered everything, Commander, as always, a job well done." Spock nodded in acceptance which Jim felt obliged to return. He began skimming over them as Spock returned to the science station. Spock's report was nothing sort of perfection, as always. Jim had nothing more to add, so he signed them off walking them to Spock. Seeing her opportunity before Jim could leave the bridge, Rand had brought him several PADDs that needed his attention on the general operation of the ship. Jim had learned that arguing with Rand was as bad of an idea as arguing with Chapel, so he also skimmed her reports and signed off on them. This part was the most absolutely tedious task he had as a captain, reading and signing off reports. Before anyone else could corner him, Jim decided it was the best time for him to slip away. Jim went to stand by Spock's station. "Mr. Spock, you have the con. I am retiring to my quarters should anyone need me." Jim rolled his shoulders trying to make it look like he was as tired as he felt.

Spock stood and acknowledged him. "Of course Captain, you need to rest to make sure you are completely healed. I will handle any situations that arise so that you may have a good night's rest." Spock gave him a knowing eyebrow that said he could see straight through the act knowing full well he was up to something, but Jim really deserved to rest.

Jim smiled and headed towards the turbo lift, Spock only thought he knew everything. Jim had no option but to rest, it wasn't like there was going to be anyone else in his room late at night. Bones was just coming for dinner, not passionate, hot, all-night love-making. (Love making?? When the hell did he turn into a teenaged girl?! Jim was mentally berating himself.) It was 1800 hours, so he had plenty of time for a hot shower before Dr. Love came for dinner, just dinner and only dinner. As the turbo doors shut off the prying eyes of the bridge crew, Jim leaned back against the wall and sighed, punching in the officer's deck. He was really, really in bad shape. Clenching his jaw and beating his fists against his thigh, he tried to think of something other than his best friends emerald eyes or smooth hands. As the turbo lift opened to the designated deck, Jim stepped out still not having found anything else to occupy his mind. He fought the urge to beat the walls of the corridor as he stalked towards his quarters. He punched in his personal code so hard he thought the buttons would pop off and strode into the darkened room.

Jim plopped down face first on his mattress. What the hell kinda man was he?! Normal guys did not fall in love with their best friends! Ah! Now he'd admitted that this was love! Not just lust, but freaking-honest-to-the-heavens-around-them love! Jim screamed into his mattress. It was so totally unfair. Bones would never, ever even think about loving him like this. Bones was a man's man. He'd already been married to a WOMAN once before. No matter how damn pretty Jim was, Bones was not going to be interested. It wasn't like Jim could walk up to him and say 'Hey, Bones you are so totally hot. I have wanted you since the shuttle ride. I gave you the nickname Bones because I wanted to jump your bones, you game?' No, it didn't work that way. What the hell was Jim going to do?

Jim tried to calm himself down, he rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. He took a deep breath and tried to think of the last woman he'd slept with. Ok, maybe that wasn't such a good idea because he'd said the _wrong _name when he'd climaxed. Luckily she thought 'Bones' was some human slang for sex being good. Damnit if Jim was going to correct her on that one. Surely there was a memory some where in his head that didn't have Bones written all over it. A party? Nope, all the good ones were with Bones. A vacation? Nope, they all had been with Bones because he hadn't been on a vacation before Bones during him back to Georgia their first summer break. School? Nope, he slept through high school and Bones was his major and minor at the Academy. Damn, there was not a thought in his memory that he could pull that didn't star Bones or paled in comparison to the time he'd got to do with Bones by his side. He was in deep, like the saying 'up shit creek without a paddle'. Hell, Bones had taught him that saying!

Giving up on any hopes of getting Bones out of his head before he went crazy, Jim headed towards the shower. Maybe some warm water would help clear his head. Jim stripped and turned on the water. While it warmed he checked his injuries in the mirror. He traced his hands over all the places that Bones had repaired. Bones?! Really, come on it hadn't been a whole minute since his last thought about the man, damnit! Clenching his jaw trying to stifle the long line of toe-curling cuss words in five languages, Jim stepped into the shower. The water was perfect. He began scrubbing trying to keep his mind blank. Yeah, well that lasted maybe a whole freaking 90 seconds until the warm water started to remind him of Bones' warm hands. "Oh give me a freaking break!" Jim scrubbed until his body was red with the effort of the soap cleaning him and the warm water. Finally he just stood under the water letting it caress his body like a lover, like the only man - the only being – he wanted, Leonard McCoy.

Finally after who knows how long because Jim couldn't keep up with time at all, he stepped out of the shower looking like a strawberry mixed with a prune. He toweled himself off, only to find that he hadn't brought any clothes with him into the bathroom. So he hung the towel up on the door hanger to dry, because why bother cleaning it more than once a week, and headed back into his sleeping quarters. Because he had a private room, because he was not expecting company for at least another half hour, and because if he had known Bones would blush that bad he'd done it years ago. Because standing at the entrance from the living room to the bed room was Bones McCoy getting an excellent view of everything Jim Kirk had to offer.

**A/N: Thanks for reading**

**I don't know if there was already a Nexus X (or any other number) so let's pretend like there's not because I feel like I'm going to wear out the Star Trek Wiki. Long live Trekkers with that much time on their hands.**

**This might be total crap/crack, but I am proud of it! Please tell me if you liked it or not!**

**Anyway… Tell me what you think! Do you want Bones to jump Jim? Get nervous and flee? Or something totally different? Hit the review button and lead the way! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**Back to Bones' POV**

Bones had double and even triple checked his patients, charts and staff in Med Bay before deciding that being fifteen minutes early to Jim's room wouldn't be that odd because if he didn't get out of his nurses' hair they were going to skin him alive. So, he had reported off to a grateful Chapel and sauntered down to the officer's deck. Bones was _not_ antsy, excited or even hopeful. As he came up to Jim's door (which was keyed for his entrance code, not just his CMO over-ride) a thought dawned on him. Since when in the hell did even he think of himself as 'Bones'?! His name was Leonard! Oh, that's right, as soon as that little chit had given him the nickname forever ago. Hell Jim had never even called him Leonard, but Bones rather liked being Jim's 'Bones' because no one else called him that. Bones rolled his eyes. Yeah, grown man reduced to a love-sick puppy. He had to chuckle as he punched in his code, didn't he and Jim used to make fun of guys that were this in love? Like yesterday?

To say that Bones was delighted to hear the shower running in Jim's dim lit room would not even come close to the real feeling that soared thru his chest. The only thing better than James T. Make-You-Drool-With-Happiness Kirk, was a freshly showered, still dripping wet James T. Hotter-Than-Orion-Slave-Girls Kirk. And Bones would know because Jim took more showers than anyone he had ever met. It didn't matter if Jim had to put on the same dirty clothes he had just taken off, Jim was going to be clean underneath them. (Bones had to stop that line of thought before he really thought about what was underneath Jim's clothes.) That man went thru more soap and shower gel (because he used both) than any other person alive today. Bones had asked him once why he showered so much but the only reply he got was a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Bones had long since decided that it was to wash off his past grime, that it was a mental thing, so he had dropped it. Because come on, really complain about a wet, fruity smelling Jim? Bones wasn't nuts. Jim used peach shampoo and body wash and damn if that wasn't better than the real thing back home in Bones' book.

So, now the internal debate was: did Bones wait in the living room or in the bed room or stand some where in between? He really did not want to miss seeing Jim at his finest and probably half-clothed. So he began to argue the pros and cons of the situation going so far as to tick them off on his fingers. He had only just confessed his undying-follow-you-to-the-great-beyond love so maybe being _in_ the bedroom wasn't a good idea, yea that would totally freak Jim out and he really could not be waiting on the bed half-clothed himself, that would for sure cause a scene and not the scene in those romance novels that Chapel read on her down time. So maybe if he got some of Jim's secret whiskey stash and kinda nonchalantly stood by the room divider trying not to look like he was trying to look at Jim? That would work because staying in the living room with no chance of seeing Jim was _not_ an option. So he quickly filled a tumbler with some Southern Comfort that Jim preferred, the irony was not lost on the good doctor, and took his place to wait. It had finally dawned on Bones that Jim was taking a really long damn shower.

Before Bones mind could drift as to what Jim might be doing in the shower, he heard the water click off. Bones could no more wipe the one-sided grin off his face than convince Chekov that a Russian did not invent the wheel, but he could care less. Had Bones been thinking straight he might have noticed that Jim went to open the door a lot quicker than normal (because yes, Bones had it down to a science as to when Jim would be toweled off and dried so that he had to move away from the door), but Bones was _not_ thinking straight. And when the door opened to showcase Jim, a naked Jim, in all the glory that God had given him looking better than any damn thing Bones had ever seen, it took every ounce of Southern hospitality that his mama had beat into him not to gape like a fish out of water. The breathing taking sight before him was enough to make Bones forget his name, whether it was Bones or Leonard.

To say he was surprised to see Jim, all of Jim, well that would be stupid because the surprise was written all over his face. Bones could see the shock in Jim's blue eyes at finding Bones in his quarters waiting on him and finding him naked. Both men were frozen in place looking at one another. Bones fought really hard to keep his eyes locked with Jim, but he was human, he was a man! And had he mentioned that Jim was _naked_?! So, he quickly glanced down to use this one opportunity he may ever have to truly appreciate Jim's body in all of its pure beauty. Well, it was supposed to be quickly. He wasn't _supposed _to watch the water drip down his sculpted chest, down his perfect six pack, to the blonde patch, down to – oh Dear God above! – down to his athletic thighs, even to his cute little feet with the perfect arches. Bones heard himself gasp, which may or may not have been the first gasp he had let out (and gasping was really not a manly thing to do at all, some little part of his mind that could still function reminded him), so he downed what was left in the glass.

Bones could no more turn away from the sight before him than he could stop breathing even while he threw back the whiskey his eyes were locked on the feet and tanned legs infront of him. He glanced back up at Jim's face, ok not glanced because he slowly worked his way back up his gorgeous body to his face. To find that the man was blushing! Jim Kirk who was embarrassed of nothing was blushing at being ogled over by his best friend twice. Or was that anger? Bones was suddenly brought from his rambling thoughts at the idea of Jim being mad at him. "I – I…" Great now he couldn't even get a word out. He swallowed, he would not look down. Damnit, ok that glance down was a slip. "I just thought I would come on down here… I… I…. I didn't know that you liked to get out of your shower naked these days." Ok so his voice might have squeaked there at the end. Eyes up, eyes up! Damn, that's four 'peeks', well actually two peeks and two very long glances, Jim is going to notice any minute. "I'll just go sit down in here… or I could just go back to my quarters. We can always just grab dinner together another time, I mean you know we are still best friends even though you are standing there…" Bones gulped. "Naked." He was rambling, he was stalling, he was glued in place.

Jim finally laughed. But it was not a true Jim-laugh; it was a tight, nearly forced laughed. Yup, Bones had really messed up. "Bones, you just do whatever you want to do. I'm going to find some clothes and dinner." His voice was casual enough to cause Bones pain. Jim moved towards his dresser. If he knew that Bones was still staring at him, Jim sure didn't show it. "I am really hungry." Jim's voice was deep, breathy. Bones thought for a split second that maybe Jim had enjoyed Bones' eyes raking over his exposed flesh, but he remembered Jim had spoke with nearly that same tone when Bones had meet him on the transporter pad earlier. Jim had to be really pissed off. But there was something in his voice that made Bones question just what Jim was hungry for.

Bones stopped that hope before it bubbled up and ruined his already less than tactile recovery. He really needed another damn drink right now. "I'll just wait out here." Breathe Bones, just breathe in and out. He walked back to refill his glass in the living area. He gulped down one glass and poured another. Some where in the back of his mind he could hear his logical side telling him not to get drunk because that really would make this bad situation worse. He was so uncomfortable. Bones pulled off his blue tunic and threw it on Jim's couch toeing off his boots underneath the small sofa table. Not the first time he had done that. It was normal for him to strip down to his blacks while in Jim's room. They were comfortable around each other and they were relaxed with one another not stiff or formal, just was normal friendly routine operating procedure. He tried to concentrate on normal, to allow his brain to catch up with the events of the past minute and a half.

What the hell had he just done?! What the hell was Jim going to do about it?! Jim was going to come running out of the bedroom at any moment and kick Bones out of his room and refuse to see him ever again. Bones sank onto the couch, leaning over with his elbows on his knees holding the tumbler with both hands. After all their years of friendship this was the first time he had ever seen Jim, outside of a medical emergency, completely full-frontal naked. And what had the dumbass done? He'd had stared and checked his best friend's _complete _body! Jim was a very detailed-oriented man, he would have noticed every time Bones' eyes had wandered down his body – four whole freaking times, well three times down and one time up, but still four times all together. Bones groaned. Throwing caution to the wind he downed the rest of the glass and sat it on the table infront of him. If he was going to loose the friendship of the person that mattered the most to him, then he was not going to do it sober. So when he started begging for forgiveness, the alcohol would have him loose enough to beg on his knees.

**A/N: Thanks for reading**

**I kinda, sorta got the inspiration for the part where Bones kept looking down from a scene in "What Women Want". Heehee. **

**I hope you like it! Please hit the review button and show some love! Next chapter Bones' or Jim's POV? And can we kill the angst or keep it going?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**To my lovely reviewers – You ROCK! And to Demon who has filled in as my muse for the last 4 chapters – Thanks so much!!!**

**I must agree the angst must end. Bones and Jim are too hot to not hook up! I had to finish this tonight because it was buzzing in my head!**

**Jim's POV**

Jim watched Bones turn and walk back into the living room. His best friend, the man of his dreams, his Bones had just seen him buck naked! And what had Dr. Hunk done? He had checked him out from head to toe at least four times! Jim could see the raw hunger in Bones' eyes, he could see Bones' desire (because Star Fleet issue slacks hid _nothing_). The man wanted him, wanted Jim as much as Jim wanted him. But he had not made a move in Jim's direction; instead he had left the room. Bones had left the room with the most wounded look on his face that Jim had ever seen. Jim had wanted to stop him, to reach out and grab him, pull him close and never let him go. Jim wanted Bones forever, not just one night, not just one time – he wanted to be the last person who ever touched his Bones. Jim had said he was hungry and that there was a development that Bones didn't know about and that was true. He was hungry for Bones and he was trying to keep that hidden. But what good was it if his secret hurt Bones because Bones shared the same hidden desire?!

Jim was drawing in ragged breaths as he tried to remember what in the hell he was trying to find in his dresser. Oh yeah, clothes. But did he really need them? Shouldn't he just run out to the living room and pull Bones into a searing kiss? Shouldn't he finally let these emotions that he had been hiding all these years lead the way? Shouldn't he throw caution to the wind and follow his heart? Shouldn't he really stop talking to himself like he was a pre-teen female? Jim groaned and ground his teeth together. What the hell was he going to do?! He sure the hell couldn't listen to the voices in his head and maintain any sort of dignity. But hell, since when did one have to be dignified to tell someone how much they loved them? What in the freaking hell?! His inner voice was starting to sound like Chekov or maybe it was Sulu, but either way it was not James T. Give-It-To-Them-And-Leave-Them Kirk.

Jim sighed and sat down on the bed still naked as the day he was born. And there was nearly as much emotional turmoil coursing thru him as on that day as well. Did he even want to be that kind of guy any more? Did he really want to be someone that had no attachments? Did he really not want to settle down, ever? Did he really want to continue to lie to himself every day? Did he really want to loose the only chance he might have at happiness? No, the answer to all those freaking questions was no. He was tired of looking in the mirror and seeing only half his soul because Leonard James-T-Kirk's-Freaking-Soul-Mate McCoy had the other half. It didn't matter how pathetic that sounded because Bones would understand, he would feel the exact same way. There was no way Jim could love Bones this much from this far without Bones feeling something in return. He might kick his ass for having waited so long to tell him the truth or even demand awesome make-up sex every night for the rest of his life, but Jim could live with that, what he couldn't live one more day with was not having Bones as is own.

So, Jim knew what he wanted to do, but how in the hell was he going to pull it off? First he had to get dressed. Jim rummaged thru his dresser to find whitey-tighties (because he knew Bones loved them) and his standard blacks. He went to grab some socks until he remembered the way Bones' eyes had lingered on his bare feet. So here he was almost thirty in his Star Fleet under clothes about to tell the only person he has ever loved that he loved him. Was he ready? Shit no, but he was James T. Fly-By-His-Pants Kirk. He'd wing it and Bones would love it. Or the shit would hit the fan and all hell would break loose, but he'd go down like a man, he wasn't going to hide in his room like a sissy and be afraid of love for another single day. One more deep breath and a silent plead that maybe he hadn't pissed too many women off so that karma wouldn't bite him in the ass, and out into the living room he went.

Bones had stripped down to his blacks and slipped off his boots. He looked like he always did in Jim's room, comfortable and relaxed. All except for the pinched expression on his handsome face. Jim was not a mind reader, but he was pretty smart – so how in five hells had he missed the look of absolute angst on this man's face?! It was a crime against nature, against love – great, again with the freaking Chekov/Sulu talk – against Bones himself for Jim to allow Bones to think that Jim didn't love him. Alright, Jim was the captain of the Enterprise, the Saver of Earth, some other crappy titles, but most importantly he was the man who was going to love Bones for as long as he could, death wasn't even going to stand in his way, so now all he had to do was form the words and lift their shared burden. Right, easy as pie. Jim really should have paid more attention in Literature or at least read a book and not slept thru every class. He was on his own. "Bones, I should apologize for several things." Those weren't the words Jim expected to fall from his lips, but hey he'd roll with whatever he had to work with.

Jim's words had startled Bones, he was so lost in thought that he hadn't heard Jim pad into the room with bare feet. "What've you got to apologize for? I'm the one who walked in on ya while ya weren't dressed." His drawl was adorably thick. Jim could see that Bones was still tense, still afraid that Jim didn't love him. Ha, wasn't that just the fashion statement of the day.

Jim sat down beside Bones as if nothing had happened. He sat just as close as he would have any other day with their shoulders rubbing, their thighs touching. "Because Bones I am not sorry that it happened." He reached down and took Bones' hand in his own.

Bones intertwined their fingers hoping like hell he wasn't misreading the Jim's signals, really glad that the alcohol had loosened him up. "You ain't?" Jim shook his head no. "Good 'cause I ain't either." Bones sighed and let his head fall back against the couch. That felt so good to get off his chest.

Jim mimicked Bones' movements, only he turned his head to so he could look at Bones in the soft light. "What I am sorry for is the fact that I was so damn stubborn and afraid of loosing you that I didn't tell you the truth." Jim swallowed. This was going to be so hard to pull off without crying like a baby.

Bones couldn't hold back the smile from his lips. Those were the best damn words he had heard all day. "Then why don't you tell me the truth now, Jim?" His voice was close to a whisper as he let his head roll to the side towards Jim. He really wanted to see the look in Jim's eyes when he said the next part. Because Bones knew what Jim was going to say next. Yet another reason to be thankful for the alcohol, he was too buzzed to do the happy dance. There was no denying now that the love between them was hell and gone from platonic.

Jim went to open his mouth to reply when his communicator chirped. WTF?! Could he not get a break? Come on of all the damn times someone could have wanted him, did it have to be right now when he was finally going to tell Bones that he loved him?! Jim clicked it open. "This is Jim." He spit out the words from in-between his clenched teeth. Bones was trying hard not to laugh out loud at his frustrated Jim. "_Captain, this is Spock. I was going to check on you to see if you were getting adequate rest as it is the end of my shift." _It might have been funny if Jim hadn't wanted to cry so badly. "I am fine Spock, thanks for checking on me. I'll see you in the morning, on the bridge, not a moment before. Kirk out." Jim threw the closed communicator down on the table. "Of all the times that damn Vulcan has interrupted me why did he have to wait until I had finally worked up enough courage to tell you that I loved you, that I _really _love you to grow a soft side?!" Jim groaned. Yeah he was going to be karma's bitch for the rest of his life.

Bones had heard what Jim had said. Jim might have known what he had said, but that didn't really matter, know did it? The subconscious is always the more truthful side of the personality any way. Bones reached over to the still fuming Jim and pulled him close whispering in his ear. "Jim, I love you too. I _really_ love you too."

For the moment neither man remembered anything outside of their bodies reaching closer to each other. Jim's head tilted to the right and Bones' to the left. The closer the got to each other the more their eyes closed. Finally, their lips brushed against the others and it was heaven. Bones kept bringing Jim closer to him and Jim tried to get closer and closer. Their tongues battled for control of the kiss and their hands fought to touch bare skin. When they finally pulled back from lack of oxygen, Jim was in Bones' lap and neither had on a shirt and neither knew how in the hell that had happened, but they weren't about to complain. Warm skin was flush against warm skin, emerald eyes shown with love as the sapphire eyes reflected it right back. "That was the best kiss ever, Bones. I can't wait to see how much better everything else is with you." Jim laughed as he leaned his forehead against Bones'.

Bones laughed. "Jim, you talk too much." He pulled the younger man down for another kiss. After all, his little diamond in the rough had teased him for much too long. Tonight and for the rest of his life, he was going to make up for it.

**A/N: Ta-da it's done! Thanks for reading!**

**Tell me what you think, please! With so much angst it was going to have a firework ending lol!**


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